An urge, an absurd need of doing something different. A wild shoot in the dark, as usual, but with an aiming intention, with an ideal direction. Just an absolute lack of perfection.
Can we change the curse of what we already know? What happens when we know with complete certainty that something will happen? It's either some part of our brain making it happen (sometimes without letting our awareness know) or some part of our brain connected with the future (our awareness will let us know, sometimes). But we are sure, so we then struggle against our own certainty, against our own thoughts, and against our own self.
What happens when we know with complete certainty that something will happen and then it doesn't happen? Can the curse of what we didn't know change us? A permanent resistance to change is as bad as a permanent need for it. In a dynamic environment, a permanent resistance can only lead to a gradual detachment from the social reality flow. When things don't move that fast, though, a permanent need for change can only lead to chronic dissatisfaction.
Sometimes I don't know which way to go, and all I can come up with is to give up all my freedom to chance, but then I can't decide anymore. If behavior has natural causes, what caused our understanding of those causes? If behavior is random, what are the odds? If I'm here, what am I doing? If you're reading this, is it really your fault?
It will change—although there's no solution, no finish line. There's no truth, there are only voices saying the same thing at different times and voices saying different things at the same time. There are, also, voices that no one will listen—but it will change. There is no congruity ahead when we dare to accept—for a change—that truth is relatively random.
You can go with the flow, but it will change (and so will you). You can try to stop the flow, but it won't change (and neither will you). You can try to change the flow, but you will be dissatisfied (and so will the flow). Can you decide?